Monday, March 21, 2022

BEGINNING OF A NEW LIFE

While spring cleaning my old blog, I found this entry which touched my heart deeply.
Dated : 05 March 2015




Salam semua sahabat,

Seriously, hard for me to find a time to spend a little time to update this blog. With the fact that I now have three kids, and they are all growing up real fast, with the fact that, I am also doing few other things and with the fact that I still at this point, have no one to help me with the house chores... with the fact that Im quite lazy to write... and lastly with the fact that I am more active in Fb, so, you see why this blog haven't  been updated regularly.

Ok on today, I would spend a little time to write something.

I must say that entering the 4series soon, even few years before reaching 4series, Allah changed my life. He gave me tests... to bring myself back down to the ground. I might have been selfish, egoist, materialistic (but still kind hearted yer) and all the negative character that I could have, but Allah test me with dugaan and now I am no longer at the fast track, but slowing down... in the name of Allah and for the sake of my kids.... seeking for His forgiveness... aiming for Jannah.

It is not easy I must say to carry this responsibility. And raising my kids who came from a mix culture family, it's quite challenging. Having half brothers with different kind of teaching, making it more challenging.

I have to consistently reminding and tazkirah my kids, the importance of Islam upbringing, the point of this life.

I keep asking for Allah to give me strength and live longer, to at least "feed" my kids with ilmu akhirat, till they reach the age where they are independant and can think on their own about good and bad and hopefully that time, they are mentally, spiritly filled with ilmu akhirat.

Allah also took away the friends that are sort of bad influence to me. And instead, He rewarded me with muslimah muslimin friends in which, the way they live their lives, give me inspiration to change.

And I wish what I am now, is what I am years ago. But Allah knows it better.

Although there are still lots of things to change... but I ask for Allah forgiveness and guidance to us.

I carry the responsiblity for the "input" akhirat for my kids. I teach them to read Quran... I taught them to pray. Sometimes when I see keluarga hebat... I do feel down. Because their kids are so hebat... solat sunat, subuh at the mosque, puasa sunat...becoz they came from parents yg hebat.

Mana mungkin my kids would be like that coz their parents are not hebat like that. I do feel down at times. But then I keep telling myself, this is better than nothing... keep on tahajud, keep on what Im doing now for my kids and insyaAllah, Allah will have mercy on me, my husband and kids.

I believe this year 2015 is the beginning of an excellent and wonderful life... coz Allah give me the chance to meet wonderful people and learn from them...alhamdulillah Allah for giving me this chance.

Back to my kids... they are doing well at school. Also at religious school. Although I still need to spend more time with my 2nd one to do revision, she is ok. No comment about my boy... I can count on him, my puberty guy.


Yesterday night after solat jemaah Maghrib (hubby was not back yet), mengaji time, then we took turn to read Yassin. I was so scared that the kids would be complaining, in which they did but a bit... then I told them "jangan ikutkan bisikan syaitan, tgh hasut tu jgn baca Yassin"...so they stopped grudging.

To my surprise, they love it. And I must try to make this a habit.

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for your help and for your unconditionally love for us.

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