Jadi I am now married.
Dapat anak immediately ..3boys. Maka
bermulalah episod to deal with 3boys anak orang putih
dan how to say…mak mak mereka yg berhati
kering ?
Hidup sgt mencabar..and I was young… 26yrs old. Didnt speak
french and didnt understand a word. Mmg totally rely on my husband for
everything. It was like a new world. Dont know to call it full of
excitement…not really..coz I had to handle non stop problems with anak tiri dan
mak mereka yg senantiasa tak puas hati dan cari pasal.
Tak perlu cerita secara detail. My honest advise buat adik
adik sana…pls kalau boleh avoid kawin dgn duda yg ada anak ni, tolong lah
avoid. Why ? Let me give you some points
·
Bkn mudah besarkan anak orang TERUTAMANYA yg mak
dia masih hidup. Most case, you will live like living in hell
·
Even kalau mak dah takde…next problem, ditegur
anak orang, bapaknya sentap. Dan anak orang ni ssh nak dgr cakap and akan
keluar dari mulut…you are not my mother
·
Bila dah ada anak sendiri, suami tak heran nak
bawak pegi taman permainan atau park sbb dia dah bosan disebabkan dah pernah
pegi dgn anak anak dia sebelum ni..in my case Disneyland. Daku bawak anak daku
sendiri ya, bapaknya mmg takkan pegi.
Menjaga anak orang putih, yg maknya mengajar benda² tak elok
to do against me…it was tough. No matter how nice you are, sentiasa cari point
to disrespect me…at one point terfikir…ada masalah mental agaknya sbb orang
waras tak mcm ni…it isnt my fault their relationship didnt work.. I wasnt the
3rd party so what is your problem ?
Basically we never had real time for honeymoon only two of
us. Him with his guiltiness takut anak² rasa terpinggir. Me I had to wake up
every night sbb ada yg melalak nak mak dia tgh malam. Anak sorang yg duduk
dekat, mak dia make sure anak dia tiap tiap hari with us. Balik umah utk tido
sahaja. Kamilah tukang ambik balik sekolah, hantar pegi extra class, daku lar
tukang masak, kemas, membasuh dsb. At one point, mak mentua ku cakap..tau tak
mak dia hari rabu dan weekend tak keja?
Memula daku tak faham apa maksud dia.. lama lepas
tu baru realise mesej yg nak disampaikan..setiap hari even weekend pun anak dia
datang umah, makan, tido..we didnt have time alone without being bothered.
I was like a nanny..taking care of them..cook for
them..while my husband is away for work..at times outstation. Never once a word
of thankyou dari mak mereka..never. Tu belum lagi pe el anak anak tiri especially yg tua ni..no manners..once belakang bapak dia, dia keluarkan what was in his mouth, telling me what I cook is disgusting...without his father knowledge. If a boy did that to me now, I would have given him one slap...but I was naive at that time.
So we are married. I came to this country with not much
money with..almost nothing. My husband didnt want people to know we are
married…risau orang kata daku ni kawin dgn dia semata mata sbb nak duduk
sini…do you know how it feels when your husband telling you this ? As if
you came from 3rd world war poor country..you never work your whole life. The
first question my MIL asked me « do you have a bank card ? » to
be sure that daku ni tak depend kat anak dia financially lar mcm tu. I was so
naive at that time.
Whatever orang cakap, daku tak bantah. Diam dan senyum
sahaja out of respect for them…though inside me is struggling between homesick
and my new life.
First years of marriage, we fight a lot…and many times I
threaten to leave him in which I never have the courage to do so (I wish I had
that courage and change my destiny).
To be continued.
#journalkembaralightkm
Ini ke yg disebut takdir...walaupun pahit ku telan jua.. ingt kn dlm lagu je.. apa yg buat sis still bertahan even in a worst situation like that.?
ReplyDeleteKak anor, pukul 2.08 am pagi saya gigih scroll blog akak. Dan.. Saya rasa akak strong sangat.. Respect! Semoga dan semoga aminn ya Allag kurniakan rezeki tidak terhingga untuk akak sekeluarga.. Aminn
ReplyDelete